McCarthyism is not dead. Now it’s called the Putin-scare. Republicans beware. If any of you spoke with a representative of Putin’s government at any time during or since the presidential election cycle, you’d better tell us now. We will find out anyway. And in either case, we know you and Putin are coordinating efforts to undermine our government. You’re a Putin lackey even if you just thought about meeting with anyone who was ever associated with the Russian government. Because we’ll find that out too. If you can just point to Russia on the map, well that’s enough; turn yourself in. Anyone wearing red – we know what that means. Reds fans, and we don’t mean from Cincinnati, will all wind up on the gallows. We’ll be photographing anyone attending Red Sox opening day, too.
We’re gonna convene hearings. Lots and lots of hearings. And it’s going to go on for at least the next four years; maybe eight if that red party is still in the White House. We’ll be on every corner and in every alley. You know we are recording every conversation everywhere in the country. We’ve got a program for that too.
Republicans Beware!
Republicans beware! We’re better at this than you think. We’ve gotten rid of Flynn. Boy was that easy! We’ve got Sessions out of the way. All we had to do there was check his appointments log. That was easy too. That Sessions, he’s not too bright. Imagine, a brief conversation with the Russian ambassador after leaving a podium. Yes, perhaps there were a few other ambassadors around, and Sessions may have spoken with them too. But that doesn’t matter! He spoke to that Russian in public, of all things. God only know where this trail leads!
Yes, we know that the Washington Post is telling us that this Russian ambassador “shows up everywhere and tries to talk to everyone.” We know that’s what diplomats do. But this guys a spy! Why the heck would the Post tell us that this Ambassador Kislyak “is not considered especially close to Russian President Vladimir Putin”? That’s really not helpful, you know. The Post wouldn’t even stop there. They brought up the old “current and former U.S. officials” telling us stuff, that “[f]or Kislyak to have sought contacts with . . . Flynn and . . . Sessions . . .should come as no surprise.” Memo to the Post – please stop printing that kind of stuff!
And it would be better if ex-Obama people like Michael McFaul wouldn’t make comments like this: “[The Russian Ambassador] doesn’t get as much credit as he should, in my view, for being savvy about developing relationships with people all over [Washington].” Geez, McFaul was Obama’s guy in Russia. Somebody better tell him, no more interviews until we’re finished.
McFaul, pay attention. We need more guys out there like Obama’s ex-CIA director John McLaughlin. He got the memo. Take a listen to his comment that “it does strain credibility” that Sessions could’ve forgotten meeting with Kislyak. After all, Kislyak is “a hard guy to forget if you’ve met him.” Now that’s more like it!
Republicans beware! Better fess up now, you Russian sympathizers. Turn in your Senate keys. Turn in your Congressional keys. And most certainly turn in your White House keys. We’re gonna get all of you. And don’t forget. We are everywhere. We’re trolling every website and every blog . . .
