Fifty years of swimming in the American political swamp leaves even the purest souls smelling fishy. Buckets of larvae-eating crawdads are bound to be cleaner. Honest Abe could only stand two years in the House of Reptilian Representatives before he scampered home, saving himself for when it actually mattered.
What if you’re a national political candidate – let’s even ponder an actual sitting President – and those rascals on the other side of the swamp pillory your horribly troubled but loving son (and even you) with shameful and unfounded charges of a bit of, shall we say, financial tomfoolery. Maybe even going so far as to suggest you had little-bitty offshore bank accounts full of shenani- “gains”.
What if they claim that you actually went so far – when sitting in the number two captain’s seat – as to alter U.S. policy in exchange for a bushel-full of wire transfers totaling a piddling five or ten or twenty million non-inflation protected bucks?
Biden’s Transparency Approach
One strategy might be to just point out through the mouth of some of your swamp-mates (not wanting to sully yourself) that even if there were some greenbacks that were sent to some unknown limited liability company accounts, well none of those money transfers went to accounts for you. Then wave, get into the noisy Presidential helicopter because you just can’t hear any questions, and fly to the beach for a month or two. As your soulmates might put it, after all “where’s the beef?”
How About the Innocence Approach?
Then there’s the innocent person approach. It’s easy. The beauty is, everyone can understand it. And, Holy Cow, it’s based on truth!
Wonders never cease when you find yourself citing Richard Nixon as an exemplar of honesty. It’s like the ’69 Mets: Who would’ve thunk it? The few people left who can read might remember the famous Nixon “Checkers” speech. But since that leaves out most of you, here’s the history.
When Tricky Dick Wasn’t So Tricky
In 1952 “I’m not a crook” Nixon was being considered by General Eisenhower as Ike’s pick for V.P. On September 18, 1952, front-page headlines claimed that a “secret fund” of $18,000 had been set up to pay for Nixon’s personal expenses that were unrelated to the campaign. Ike was under heavy duress to drop consideration of Nixon for the ticket. But he gave Nixon the chance to defend himself in front of the country with an address on national television.
What did Nixon do? He began by stating that
“The usual political thing to do when charges are made against you is to either ignore them or to deny them without giving details.”
(Sound familiar, Mr. President?). But Nixon went a different route. “To me the office of the Vice Presidency of the United States is a great office, and I feel that the people have got to have confidence in the integrity of the men who run for that office and might obtain it.”
Nixon proceeded to “air [his] life” for the whole nation. He walked through – in great detail – his personal finances, including how much money he had, his mortgage, his home, and even a personal loan on his insurance, to demonstrate that he had not benefitted financially, and that the $18,000 was only used for political expenses. Towards the end of his speech Nixon famously acknowledged that he did receive one election gift that he was not going to return: a spotted cocker spaniel dog that his children named “Checkers.”
Nixon’s soul-bearing, honesty and detailed candor was a big success.
President Biden, Take a Page . . .
It’s easy for an innocent man to follow Nixon’s approach. Nixon himself couldn’t do so twenty-plus years later, the paranoia of the swamp consuming him. As Casey Stengel once put it, “don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.”
So, Mr. President, what about taking to the podium, looking directly into that camera, and walking point-by-point through the allegations against you and your son. What better way to satisfy your humble minions that their President is not a crook? Seems like an easy thing to do. That is, if you’re innocent. Even Tricky Dick did it. Shall we hold our breath?
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